Today I’m struck with a reflection on the last 4 years, on the cumulative result of a commitment to healing and unfolding into myself.A journey I found myself walking after hitting my personal “bottom”.
The foundation, shall we say, on which I know build upon.
All of life seems to have shifted. This unfolding into self, of course, is a continued journey. But as I feel my own energy gushing through me, unleashing my feminine, my opinions, my fire, my confidence, my intuition, my sense of grounding and purpose…I am overwhelmed with blessings.
So I’m here to say: healing “works”, awareness opens, self-love holds space for deep contentment and joy.
Sometimes it takes losing your footing completely to experience the opening that the journey of finding solid ground again offers.
And it’s scary and it’s vulnerable and it’s unsure and it’s frustrating—to have seen a version of yourself more whole, more authentic, more free…behind you, swept away by the unexpected tides of life.
But it’s paradoxical—in that space, that aggravating, seeming lack, you are still whole.
You may lose all that swirls about you, you may fall from grace, confidence and self-assuredness, yet you still remain complete.
And in that falling away, in that shedding of those trophies of self you hold dear—a nothingness arises. A quiet encompassing of there being no more, a pooling of self that—no longer reaching—has little to think of, hope for, dream of, fear, or worry about.
It’s a silence all it’s own.
The silence can be deafening, or opening. We can be crushed by it, or simply be with it. Sitting in it.
I remember vividly my lowest point and this feeling that coated me. I would sit, just sit. Somehow this, unknown to me, meditation of sorts, crept into my life simply from lack of ambition, self-knowledge and connection.
There seemed to be nothing, and in that I could sit and in the oddest way, be at peace.
Sit where you land when life seems to rip away what you know. Be with it, without trying to force it to change.
This is so crucial, to be with life as it shifts.
A funny thing happens when you stay with it, when you sit in the emptiness, the despair—without being angry at it. Just…being with it.
Out of the nothingness, something begins to move. The energy begins to shift; afterall, nothing was really lost, it just transformed into potential.
Begin to move, however movement might arise. See the fresh start that is inevitably connected with any ending.
Discover, uncover, explore, cherish the gift of being able to come to know yourself. Make peace with your past, recognizing that now is the time of creation, that only now is what is real.
Begin. Start anywhere.
Reflect, cry, forgive, move and open your body, nourish yourself, take baths, be gentle to yourself. Write, express, do self-esteeming acts, discover your own inner fire. Find the people and environment that vibrate where you want to. Open your mind, read, find your archetypes.
Begin anywhere. Trust the process.
Take 1 step in the direction you want to move, take 1 step into your own being.
And from there, just keep walking. .